|  Author | Topic: Music News Anniversary story (Read 318 times) |
el musico
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Karma: 8,388,606 |  | Music News Anniversary story
« Thread Started on Oct 28, 2009, 12:44am » | |
So I thought I'd write one last story for the occassion for old time's sake. Consider this my retirement from writing. 
*At the headquarters*
Gloob: It’s Music News 4th anniversary, huzzah!
*All huzzah*
El musico: Yep, and to celebrate we’re all going to Chuck E. Cheese! Except for you, Brandon.
*Pulls out pistol and shoots Brandon in the head*
Gloob: Chuck E. Cheese? Nonono. That place is for pedophiles, fags, and…
McSexy: OMGAWD I LOVE CHUCK E. CHEESE!
Hysteria: We’re going to Chuck E. Cheese? Why don’t we each make and wear signs that say “I’m a whore, rape me” and wander around aimlessly downtown drunk, punching ourselves in the face repeatedly. I’m sure it would be much less painful.
El musico: You’re here? Oops…well, you’re not going cuz you weren’t at Music News.
Hysteria: So that’s how it’s gonna be, huh? After I made this FABULOUS casserole we’re all enjoying, you’re gonna treat me like this?
Gloob: STFU niglet!
Hysteria: Well, then I guess now’s a good time to say I spit in everything you whores are eating! You bitches never appreciate me for ANYTHING! Why, if I died right now…
*Hysteria spontaneously combusts*
Gloob: Thank you, Jesus.
Jesus: *From gloob’s mom’s room* No problem! Yeah, take it…take it, you filthy, filthy whore…
*Awkward silence, only to be interrupted by a thud*
Carlos: Help! I got stuck in the doggy door again!
El musico: Again? Why?
Carlos: That tree I always told you to cut down because I never trusted it bet that I couldn’t do it. And I sure proved it wrong, stupid tree.
Gloob: What drug is Carloads on tonight?
Carlos: What drug ISN’T Carloads on tonight?
El musico: Whatever, let’s go, Carlos is banned from Chuck E. Cheese anyway for indecent exposure anyways.
*Everybody leaves, McSexy turns around*
McSexy: *Whispers* When I get back, I’m gonna do bad things to you.
Carlos: Motherfunking cooki!!!!!
*At Chuck E. Cheese, we find TVoholic preaching Satanism to a bunch of crying kids*
TVoholic: And that’s why when all of you die, you, your mommy, and your daddy will all go straight to Hell and burn forever and ever and ever, with Satan, from whom all things I worship come.
Kid: You’re scaring me, mister.
TVoholic: Then my work here is do…*looks out and notices Music News* What the fuck are those assholes doing here? Wait…it’s the fourth year anniversary of Music News! And they’re celebrating without me? They must DIE.
*TVoholic runs away as gloob, McSexy, and musico approach the door*
El musico: I wanna go to the ball pit first!
McSexy: I as well would like to be surrounded by balls. All the time.
Gloob: No, we’re going to eat pizza first. And it shall be good.
McSexy: I’m gonna have to agree with Mr. Glen. I’d rather have the taste of balls in my mouth over the taste of pizza when I leave.
El musico: We NEVER get to do what I want!
*El musico runs out in the parking lot crying and gets run over by an ice cream truck and dies*
Gloob: Well, at least his body is still intact for an open casket service.
*A plane crashes on his body*
Gloob: Meh.
*Inside*
McSexy: Save me a spot, I’m going to take care of certain deeds.
Gloob: Go fuck yourself, you asswhore.
*McSexy wonders away and finds a little boy*
McSexy: Hai thur little boy, want some candy?
Boy: I sure do, mister!
McSexy: Just reach on in my pocket and grab some, you…
*A Chuck mascot approaches*
Chuck: Come with me, please.
McSexy: Not now, Chuck, I’m trying to rape a small defenseless innocent child! 
Chuck: I wasn’t asking.
*Chuck pulls off mascot head to reveal that he is TVoholic, who then drags McSexy to the kitchen and murders him*
*Minutes later, TVoholic is bringing gloob a pizza*
TVoholic: *Thinking* What he doesn’t know is that I put an edible bomb in this pizza that will explode when he says the word “asswhore”, which for him shouldn’t be long.
*TVoholic set pizza down and runs*
Gloob: Stupid buttskank Chuck.
TVoholic: *Hiding and watching* And now…I wait…
Gloob: Where’s McSexy, that faggot dickwad was supposed to be back here by now…
TVoholic: Say it…
Gloob: And I wonder if that bitch buttfucker Carlos ever got out of the damn doggy door..
TVoholic: Almost there…
Gloob: Rape shit nigger tits.
TVoholic: *runs up* SAY ASSWHORE, YOU FOOL!
*Gloob and TVoholic explode, as well some surrounding children. None of them survive.*
THE END.
*Back at headquarters*
Carlos: *From doggy door* …Helloooooooooo?! This is really uncomfortable, I just took an explosive crap in my pants and can’t do anything about it. Anybody? Help? Oh, shut up, you stupid tree.
WHOOOO FOUR YEARS.
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Oct 30, 2009, 3:24pm, Hysteria wrote:| I guess I'm the biggest bitch on the forum. |
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drglooba
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« Reply #1 on Oct 28, 2009, 10:12pm » | |
And let there be four more years of racism and scarring!
And story gets a 9/10, I laughed and I cried.
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yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay |
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Hysteria
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« Reply #2 on Oct 29, 2009, 3:31pm » | |
This was quite good. 
Quote:| Consider this my retirement from writing. |
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Writing is one of the few things that you don't suck ass and fail at. Why retire? 
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Dec 20, 2009, 5:18am, el musico wrote:| I suck dick and my birthday doesn't matter |
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el musico
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THERE'S A GUDGEON BORN EVERY MINUTE
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Karma: 8,388,606 | | Re: Music News Anniversary story
« Reply #3 on Oct 29, 2009, 6:13pm » | |
Maybe it's because I don't like wasting my time writing for assholes like YOU.
Gracias, señoritas.
Don't forget bigotry and sexism, glub.
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Oct 30, 2009, 3:24pm, Hysteria wrote:| I guess I'm the biggest bitch on the forum. |
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drglooba
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« Reply #4 on Oct 29, 2009, 10:41pm » | |
That's a given.
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yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay |
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Hysteria
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« Reply #5 on Oct 30, 2009, 3:29pm » | |
Oct 29, 2009, 6:13pm, el musico wrote:| Maybe it's because I don't like wasting my time writing for assholes like YOU. |
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That's not the answer I wanted to hear. SUSPENDED.
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Dec 20, 2009, 5:18am, el musico wrote:| I suck dick and my birthday doesn't matter |
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5 min. username
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« Reply #6 on Nov 1, 2009, 1:58am » | |
Cooki!
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5 min. username
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« Reply #7 on Nov 1, 2009, 1:59am » | |
For the 5th anniversary, we have to go all out. Maybe invite Spongeyfan's mom over for a good time?
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el musico
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Karma: 8,388,606 | | Re: Music News Anniversary story
« Reply #8 on Nov 1, 2009, 3:36am » | |
If so, we'd have to do it soon. I'm pretty sure she's booked over the next year.
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Oct 30, 2009, 3:24pm, Hysteria wrote:| I guess I'm the biggest bitch on the forum. |
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Hysteria
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el musico
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THERE'S A GUDGEON BORN EVERY MINUTE
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Karma: 8,388,606 | | Re: Music News Anniversary story
« Reply #10 on Nov 2, 2009, 10:06pm » | |
We need TVoholic to spam again and make up more epic words...even if I hated them at the time. 
Now where's gloob, that little asshole who think he's a hell monkey when he's trying to cover up for his own insecurities...
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Oct 30, 2009, 3:24pm, Hysteria wrote:| I guess I'm the biggest bitch on the forum. |
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Hysteria
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« Reply #11 on Nov 4, 2009, 5:14pm » | |
I have no idea what you're talking about. So I'm just going to ignore you.
In other news, my internet is completely broken, and now I have use the computer at the library.
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Dec 20, 2009, 5:18am, el musico wrote:| I suck dick and my birthday doesn't matter |
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drglooba
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« Reply #12 on Nov 4, 2009, 9:19pm » | |
I'm here!
And my interwebs were broken too, I'd normally laugh but I feel your pain.
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yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay |
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Hysteria
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« Reply #13 on Nov 4, 2009, 10:51pm » | |
People just don't understand what we're going through.
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Dec 20, 2009, 5:18am, el musico wrote:| I suck dick and my birthday doesn't matter |
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el musico
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THERE'S A GUDGEON BORN EVERY MINUTE
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Karma: 8,388,606 | | Re: Music News Anniversary story
« Reply #14 on Nov 5, 2009, 12:42am » | |
I'm in the computer lab, and usually am anymore. Besides the fact that the ethernet on my floor is terrible, I have a lot more room in the computer lab to do worth in comparison to the smaller desk in my dorm. It's been about a week since I used my lappy.
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Oct 30, 2009, 3:24pm, Hysteria wrote:| I guess I'm the biggest bitch on the forum. |
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Hysteria
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« Reply #15 on Nov 5, 2009, 1:02am » | |
Well lucky you.
My computer at home runs on half-assed dial-up connection, so using the library computers is actually an improvement. Plus, they don't censor anything, which means that 90% of the people using the computers are on myspace, porn, or something else of equally unimportant value.
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Dec 20, 2009, 5:18am, el musico wrote:| I suck dick and my birthday doesn't matter |
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el musico
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THERE'S A GUDGEON BORN EVERY MINUTE
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Karma: 8,388,606 | | Re: Music News Anniversary story
« Reply #16 on Nov 5, 2009, 1:45am » | |
That's why people go to the library. Nobody reads books anymore. It's just more obvious with some people than it is with others. *coughCarloscough*
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Oct 30, 2009, 3:24pm, Hysteria wrote:| I guess I'm the biggest bitch on the forum. |
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5 min. username
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« Reply #17 on Nov 7, 2009, 2:54am » | |
Ha, I'm the Mexican here, and I have a working internet connection. The world is changing. We're taking over.
Nov 2, 2009, 10:06pm, el musico wrote:We need TVoholic to spam again and make up more epic words...even if I hated them at the time.
Now where's gloob, that little asshole who think he's a hell monkey when he's trying to cover up for his own insecurities... |
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Let's piss Mick off again.
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Hysteria
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« Reply #18 on Nov 7, 2009, 3:10am » | |
Quote:| We're taking over. |
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Will you be bringing your cockroaches with you as well?
I'm brown enough to pass for Mexican, so that should count for something. And the other day at the thrift store, a guy asked me what tribe I was from. Should I have been offended by this? 
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Dec 20, 2009, 5:18am, el musico wrote:| I suck dick and my birthday doesn't matter |
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el musico
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THERE'S A GUDGEON BORN EVERY MINUTE
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Karma: 8,388,606 | | Re: Music News Anniversary story
« Reply #19 on Nov 7, 2009, 3:15am » | |
Yeah, thanks for the swine, Carlos.
No, Hysteria. One can only assume you've heard much much more warranted insults.
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Oct 30, 2009, 3:24pm, Hysteria wrote:| I guess I'm the biggest bitch on the forum. |
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Hysteria
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« Reply #20 on Nov 7, 2009, 3:40am » | |
This is turning out to be a very unhappy thread...:(
Is there any way we can lighten the mood?
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Dec 20, 2009, 5:18am, el musico wrote:| I suck dick and my birthday doesn't matter |
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el musico
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Karma: 8,388,606 | | Re: Music News Anniversary story
« Reply #21 on Nov 8, 2009, 2:29pm » | |
Absolutely not.
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Oct 30, 2009, 3:24pm, Hysteria wrote:| I guess I'm the biggest bitch on the forum. |
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drglooba
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« Reply #22 on Nov 11, 2009, 8:21pm » | |
We could talk about things that make us happy. I like to listen to the screaming of a dog while being boiled, and then marinate it with BBQ sauce. It make take a few hours, but BBQ-style Labrador is probably the tastiest thing I've ever eaten.
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yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay |
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Hysteria
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« Reply #23 on Nov 11, 2009, 9:14pm » | |
That's not happy, that's SICK.... You're SICK.
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Dec 20, 2009, 5:18am, el musico wrote:| I suck dick and my birthday doesn't matter |
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el musico
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THERE'S A GUDGEON BORN EVERY MINUTE
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Karma: 8,388,606 | | Re: Music News Anniversary story
« Reply #24 on Nov 12, 2009, 1:08am » | |
It's better the dogs be boiled alive then let gloob's mom have her way with them. That's right, she's into bestiality too.
We're trying to make this thread depressing, right?
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Oct 30, 2009, 3:24pm, Hysteria wrote:| I guess I'm the biggest bitch on the forum. |
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